Reasoned Doubt
by you'vegotthis
Summary: Because even though he knows she's capable, he can't believe it's possible. NOW COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Presumes no one knows about their relationship yet.

He woke alone in her apartment, takes a moment to snuggle with her pillow on her side of the bed. Last night's memories gently waking him. He both loves and hates it when she lets him sleep in. Loves that she cares for him enough not to wake him on a routine day; hates that any day doesn't start with her in it. He checks the alarm clock, 8:15.

_Last night. So good._

He rises to use her shower, appreciating the scent of hairspray and coffee that greet him. Finds her half empty mug on the bathroom sink, dumps it in the sink before he leaves, he'll bring her a fresh cup on his way in. A smile graces his lips at this new angle to an old routine.

* * *

"Morning," Castle greets the boys, passing their desks.

"Hey Castle."

"Where's Beckett?" he asks casually setting down the coffee on her desk as he scans the bullpen.

"She didn't call you?"

"No, why?"

"Haven't seen her all morning, we figured she was with you."

Concern crosses his features, "No," he says slowly, picking up his phone he shuffles to her picture, a candid of her giving him one of her reserved smiles as she holds the phone to her ear.

It goes to voicemail.

Ryan and Esposito gather around him to hear the verdict, his look is enough to send them both dialing her number.

Voicemail. The electronic voice that repeats her number, it's professional until it isn't her, and then it's disconcerting.

"I'll call her dad," Esposito says directing Castle, "you call Lanie."

"I'll check with Gates," Ryan adds.

Three minutes later all three men are asking the same question.

_Where the hell are you Kate?_

* * *

"When was the last time you saw her?" He's in his chair, slightly bothered by the view of Esposito sitting at her desk.

Just when he thinks there is no good way to answer them, Gates calls out from her office door.

"Ryan, Esposito, we got a body. University Hospital parking lot."

When they take a moment to glance at each other she approaches them, "still no word from Beckett?"

"No Sir."

"When was the last time anyone saw her?"

"Last night," Castle volunteers, "about 2AM."

They're good detectives but even if they weren't, his words beg some questions.

"Has anyone gone by her place this morning?"

Castle takes a deep breath and raises a hand, "She wasn't there at 9." _When I left._

"Okay, Mr. Castle, go and check again, ask the Super to let you in. In the meantime, you two get on this homicide."

Ryan and Esposito shoot him a sympathetic look, but when Gates leaves there's a fury of whispers.

"I want to know where Senator Bracken is right now." Ryan's already typing the question into the browser.

"Texas, been there since Monday."

"Doesn't mean he didn't hire someone to do something to her," Castle says, even as he swallows back his growing fear.

"Castle, man, one step at a time, go back to her place. Ryan, get your boys on her unit GPS. I'm going to go work this scene, call me when you find something."

Esposito puts a hand on the writer's shoulder as he adds, "We'll find her bro."

* * *

He's got his key in her door when his cell rings and he fumbles to pull it from his coat pocket.

"Kate?"

"Castle, where are you?" Ryan's on the line.

"Uh, Beckett's place." He's gotten himself through the door and does a quick check of her apartment as he talks.

"I think we've got something."

Castle stops his movement, all concentration on the detective.

"You're going to want to come down here."

_Oh god. _

"Ryan, what did you find?" His breathing has become more rapid.

"The body, Castle . . ."

He closes his eyes and leans against the doorframe to her bedroom. He can see her unmade bed. Their bed. _Kate._

" . . . it's Josh Davidson."

He slides down to the floor, unsure which of his conflicted feelings to pursue.

"I'll be right there," he whispers.

When he hangs up, he covers his eyes with his hands. _Kate._

* * *

The scene is a wild mix of pink and blue scrubs, white jackets and dark blue uniforms. Yellow police tape is wrapped around vehicles and a support post on the eighth floor of the parking structure. A violent yellow plastic tarp covers the body of a tall figure.

"It's definitely Josh. Looks like a single gunshot wound to the chest, I put the time of death at some time between five and seven this morning, " Lanie says, looking worried, "any word on Kate?"

"Nothing at her place."

Esposito whispers aloud what they've all been thinking, "This can't be a coincidence, she disappears the same day he is killed?"

"Yeah, but what does it mean? Were they back together?" Ryan's questions prompt all three to look at Castle.

"No, Kate told me that they broke up last year. As far as I know they haven't seen each other since."

Ryan turns to answer his phone as Lanie shoots Esposito a worried look.

"Hey, Beckett can take care of herself, always has," Esposito sooths her.

"Hey, that was tech, they traced her unit to this location."

It doesn't take long to find the department issue vehicle on the same parking garage level as the body, "Yo, over here."

"I don't see anything, " Ryan peeks in the windows on one side while Esposito works the trunk with his spare key. At the last moment, Castle averts his gaze.

"Nothing here either," Esposito calls to Ryan.

The writer takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly.

Then he tries her cell number again.

Again it goes to voicemail as he shakes his head at the detectives.

"Mr. Castle? Detectives? What the hell is going on here?"

Victoria Gates is standing behind them.

* * *

"I need to remind you that I have been more than patient with this team in the past, so I am only going to ask you this once, where is Detective Beckett?"

"We honestly don't know, Sir," Ryan speaks for the group, looking quickly away from Gates' death stare.

"Then what does she know about this case?"

"That's unclear, Sir. We only know she knew the victim."

"She knew the victim? The doctor?"

"She dated him more than a year ago."

"And her vehicle is here? In the same parking garage?"

The detectives nod.

"I think it's safe to assume that Detective Beckett is in some kind of trouble. I want to know where she was this morning when this went down."

* * *

It's bizarre to see Kate's photo next to Josh's on the murder board. Castle can't help but swallow hard at the implication. He adjusts the magnet to move her a little further from the other photos. It's time to face the music.

Esposito crosses his arms as he stands next to the author, the two of them look straight ahead at their murder board, no need for face-to-face conversation. The author speaks in low tones.

"She was at her place last night."

The Hispanic detective doesn't respond.

"I know this because I was with her."

Without judgment Esposito presses, "Until when?"

Castle hesitates, "Sometime after 2 and before 8. I didn't hear her leave."

"Was she seeing Josh?"

"Not that I'm aware of." But the slightest hint of doubt creeps in. He's certain she left of her own will. No one took her from their bed, she chose to leave.

He sits down at her desk, noticing the Styrofoam java cup he brought for her this morning, long grown cold. _She hasn't had coffee all day._


	2. Chapter 2

Gates has turned Kate's apartment into a crime scene. Castle watches helplessly as the woman herself digs through Kate's desk. The crime scene investigators are still gathering evidence in her bedroom. He closes his eyes against the nausea that sweeps over him when he realizes they have bagged the sheets on her bed. Ryan exchanges looks with him over her kitchen island. It reminds him of the last time Ryan came to share information over this very spot.

"Sir, I think I've found something," one of the gloved officers comes forward with photos. Josh and Kate, heads together, obviously taken while Josh held the camera. In the second shot he's kissing her cheek as she smiles at the camera.

It breaks his heart in more ways than one.

"Tech called me, " says the imposing woman to anyone in ear shot, "luds on Beckett's phone show a series of text messages this morning sent to Davidson, starting about 5, with a phone call from her phone to his around 6:45. They've got the transcript for us back at the precinct."

It socks him in the gut. Hard evidence. Evidence that hurts.

Maybe he doesn't want to know.

* * *

_I need to see you ASAP_

_Where and when?_

_Our place, soon as you can get here_

The texts don't tell them much, in fact, they leave them with more questions than answers. What's clear is that Kate doesn't question the doctor when he says he needs her.

They've swept Josh's place too. Collected evidence. Talked to neighbors.

"A neighbor says she woke to sounds of verbal fighting around six, didn't see who the woman was but definitely identified Josh Davidson's voice. Says she heard the door slam and a car start shortly after. She didn't see anyone else," Ryan reports looking at his notes.

"Still leaves an hour before time of death."

Castle remains silent, _was it Beckett fighting with him? Did she really leave their bed to go to him? Where the hell is she now?_

It's close to midnight, and as conflicted as his emotions are right now, he's scared to go to home without her.

* * *

"Castle," Ryan's voice wakes him from the break room couch; he's earned the right to use it.

His attention is drawn to the army of officers, led by Gates, storming for the elevator. He hustles to catch up to them before the doors close.

"Captain, what's going on?"

"21st out of the Bronx just found a body. Dr. Karen Wilson, worked with Dr. Davidson, when she didn't show for her shift, they sent out the beat cop."

"So why the calvary?"

"Mr. Castle, Detective Beckett was seen fleeing the building."

* * *

"Looks like a 9mm," Lanie reports.

Gates response is a loaded weapon in itself, "standard issue." _For a cop._

"Hey, lots of guns out there are 9mm, this doesn't mean Beckett did anything," Ryan defends.

"Look," Gates skirts the body to face them in all authority, narrowing her eyes, "I know how close this team is, I'm just going where the evidence leads me, and right now, that evidence is pointing at Detective Beckett. I've spent enough time investigating cops to know one thing, we are all human. If Detective Beckett was upset about her boyfriend cheating on her, I can see her having this kind of reaction. What's important is that we get her in here to hear her side of the story."

_Shit._

The three remaining team members exchange glances.

_Shit._

* * *

"Castle." He's being beckoned into the emergency stairwell, he stands huddled with the two detectives, not knowing where to start.

_We aren't sleeping together._

_She didn't cheat on me._

_She didn't kill Josh. Or his girlfriend._

He doesn't know what to believe. He needs to talk to her.

"At least we know she's all right," Ryan starts, but it's met with a disbelieving look from both his partners. He stops talking.

"Castle, man, where would she go? We need to get to her before Gates does. If we don't . . ."

The writer swallows.

"Her place. My place. Why wouldn't she contact . . ." he doesn't want to know the answer, "her dad's place, the precinct. I don't know where else."

He's angry by the time they make it back from her dad's place outside the city. They've been through so much together and now she won't talk to him? Won't call him? Makes him worry that she's in trouble? Dead? Injured? Now he can't help but think that she isn't calling because she's guilty of something. She's done something to break them. It makes him angry when she won't talk. He thought they were past that.

He's tired.

A check of his watch tells him its 2AM. What a difference 24 hours makes.

* * *

"There's a second sighting of Beckett. University Hospital."

The hallway video clearly shows Kate entering and leaving the cardiology lab. Josh's cardiology lab. A fifteen minute visit, after hours. Her body hides how she opens the door, but his experience with her tells him she broke in using lock-picking tools he knows she owns. For a moment she turns her face to the camera and he can see that determined look on her face he's seen before. She's on a mission.

The best he can hope for is that she's stable. He can't imagine that she is, because she's ruining everything.

* * *

"They found her. Cornered her at the girlfriend's place. Gates had it staked-out."

_Thank god._

_Oh god._

He sees her through the glass. The two way mirror. Gates and some IA official on one side of the table. She looks tired. Exhausted. Watches as she rubs her forehead. He hasn't seen her look this way since her mother's case. Since the PTSD. Her eyes don't meet theirs. One of her hands is cuffed to the table. A long metal bar bolted to the surface. She seems preoccupied with it. Struggles to find a comfortable position.

Esposito puts a hand on his shoulder, "She hasn't said anything."

He takes a deep breath, unaware of how he's been holding it. _She's alive._


	3. Chapter 3

Kate Beckett is arrested in the middle of the night and arraigned on a Wednesday morning.

He's hired her the best attorney he can find.

The kind that gets wealthy men out of serious trouble.

Guilty men.

He finds a seat in the galley of the courtroom as they bring her in. There's brief eye contact before she looks away.

"She has few ties to the community. Her father is her only family and financials show the ability to flee the country."

"Detective Beckett is not guilty of these charges, she's a respected member of the community with ties to noted New Yorkers. Books have literally been written about the integrity of her work. She deserves an opportunity to clear her name."

"One million dollars bond, per charge, and Detective Beckett will surrender her passport."

The money doesn't scare him, he'll pay.

What scares him is that she's never said a word.

* * *

He can see her coming through security and it's painfully obvious that she knows he's there. She won't give him more than a glance as she collects her father's watch and her mother's ring. Slides her belt through her pant loops, which only draws attention to her missing attire. No gun. No badge.

She takes a noticeable breath before turning to face him. Her shoulders rising and falling before she turns her resolute brown eyes to meet his.

He won't back down. He won't break down. He needs her to make the first gesture, needs her to show him where they stand.

She walks up to him, face tight, lips pressed together, that little wrinkle between her brows, like she's holding everything back.

But his girlfriend, his partner, doesn't reach out to him.

Somehow that says it all.

"Let's go home," he says quietly, taking the manila envelope from her fingers and looking away long enough to grab his keys from his coat pocket. He holds out his tan winter coat to her.

"Put this on."

He doesn't help her into it but he does leave her to follow him out to the car. She's watching him wordlessly as he fingers the key. Before giving it a twist he closes his eyes for a moment, his breathing as controlled as his voice.

"We _are_ going to talk about this."

She seems to shrink into her seat. Shrink back from this tension, drawing in a deep breath, "I can't."

He stares at her in disbelief.

"You're angry and you won't hear me, I . . ."

"Damn right I'm angry," he shakes with it, proves her right. Almost loses it.

A few moments of tense silence fill the vehicle before he finally starts it and drives out of the lot. It's a silent ride.

* * *

She panics when she sees they're headed to his loft.

"Castle, please, just take me home."

He can't help himself, his anger spilling over, "why? So you can disappear again?"

"No, I didn't . . ."

"No, you don't get a say in this, you don't want to talk about it, fine, but I just put up my house in the Hamptons to bond you out, and I'll be damned if I let you out of my sight."

* * *

The questions have him seething.

He takes her roughly by the elbow, pulling her into his bedroom, stopping briefly at the dresser. She stands, like an obedient soldier, watching him. There's extra effort behind pushing the drawers shut as he pulls out clothing. His t-shirt, her underwear.

He nudges her into the bathroom, tosses the items on the countertop and turns away from her as he speaks, "take a shower and then we'll talk."

"I'm not a child, "she says.

"Then stop acting like one."

* * *

She slips between the sheets knowing he's probably waiting for her in the kitchen.

She's almost asleep when she hears him from the doorway, "what are you doing?"

She feels him sit at her hip, his voice soft, "Look, Kate . . ."

"I don't want to talk about it." It would be a fatal move to look at him right now.

"So what am I supposed to do Kate? Let it go? Pretend like I'm not invested in this?"

She turns her head on the pillow to finally look at him, "I'll show up to court if that's what you're worried about. I'll pay you back the money."

As if that's what this is about.

"This isn't fair Kate, you can't expect me to watch you be reckless with your own life."  
There's a plea in his eye as he swallows hard and adds, "Again."

She lets out a huff, throwing the covers off her body, "I said I don't want to talk about it."

"You know this is wrong Kate, you know you can't do this alone."

But the jeans she was wearing earlier are already sliding up her legs and she's headed toward the door.

And then he says the one thing that may get her to stop.

"If you leave, I'm going to talk to Gates."

She turns and stares at him, disbelieving.

"I'll tell her everything, Kate. I'll tell her about us. I'll tell her about Senator Bracken. I won't let you do this without me."

A weighing moment, he can see she's trying to decide if he's really capable.

"Try me," he adds, moving to lock the door, letting her see him set the alarm.

"I'm not sleeping with you."

He can't pretend that doesn't hurt.

"Guest room then," he says with finality.

She grimaces, fighting to hide her tears before turning to climb the stairs.

* * *

She can't sleep. She's been rehashing the last few days for what feels like hours now. Even though she doesn't want to be anywhere near him, she doesn't want to feel like this either.

She pushed him away. She knew she'd ruin this.

Warm liquid rolls down her cheek as she smothers her face in the pillow. It smells like his fabric softener.

* * *

He's been sitting at his desk thinking for the last hour.

The more he thinks, the angrier he gets. It keeps coming back to her.

He slams his fist down on the desk, startling himself.

And then he gets up, determined, she's not going to do this to him, to them.

* * *

She hears him coming, the creak of the door is not a surprise. His hands on her hips are.

He turns her over to face him, the barely-there light from the hallway lets him know his instincts about her being awake are not wrong.

"Tell me."

She sits up, facing him. Her lower lip trembling.

"I didn't want you to talk me out of it. I knew you would try. You wouldn't understand, you'd make this personal."

"Hell yeah it's personal. You dated the man. What is so wrong with telling me?"

"I didn't want to wait. I didn't want to reason, I just wanted to take care of the thing."

Her voice is full of justification.

"And what if it had been a trap? What if the guy that killed Josh had waited around to kill you? What if this is Bracken?"

"I have a deal with the Senator, he wouldn't kill me."

"Do you even hear yourself anymore?" He says, stunned, "Do you even care what would happen to me if you died? If our friends found you on the floor of some parking garage?"

"Castle."

"No, Kate," he shakes with anger, and for the first time she feels a twinge of fear, "you don't get to decide like this. You don't get to make me regret this. Regret you."

His words come more forcefully, "Did you sleep with him?"

The question stuns them both.  
"No, Castle, I . . ."

He kisses her hard, pushes her down, but doesn't let go of her shoulders as he stretches himself out on top of her. She's having a hard time keeping up with him as he deepens his kiss, his frustration apparent. He can feel her arms nudging at him, trying to free herself, but he doesn't let her go. He doesn't want her to wrap her arms around him, to comfort him. Doesn't need her to distract him from her sins. Absolve herself.

He lets her go long enough grab the bottom of her shirt and tug it off her body. He doesn't pull it all the way off, using the fabric to hold her hands over her head. Her fingers tangled in the cotton, curling over his.

"Castle," she gasps as he focuses his attention on her chest, her breath coming erratically. His lips meet her scar, trailing up to her neck and back down again. Her hands are tugging against his, until he sucks at her breast, his free hand smoothing the skin from her stomach over her ribs and around to her back to lift her already arching body deeper into his mouth. She feels his teeth, lightly teasing her.

"What do I mean to you Kate?" he says between her breasts, his breath tickling her skin just before he kisses her again, moving to her other breast. She's raised her knees, twisting, writhing to satisfy this dark whirlwind of emotion.

And then the dam breaks.

"Everything," she pants, "everything. I'm . . .stop, Castle, stop."

He does, moving up to look at her, suddenly ashamed at his force. He lets go of her hands and uses both of his to stroke her face, a thumb under each eye. And the tears flow freely as he catches them and his own drip down on to her face. She frees herself of the shirt and holds his shoulders.

"I'm not sorry for what I did," she whispers, "but I am sorry I did it without you."

"You made me worry Kate. I worry so much about you Kate. About us."

"I know." Her hands sooth down the back of his neck, her eyes searching his, waiting. She bites her lip.

He takes a deep breath.

"Try not to hurt me Kate."

She makes a little hiccupping noise and pulls him down to her, kissing him gently, wrapping her arms around his neck possessively. She repents on his neck, does her penance along his collar bone.

He straddles her, working the buttons on his own shirt, lets her slide it off his shoulders, she holds his hand between them to unbutton the cuffs.

She takes both his hands to her heart.

"Feel that?" she whispers, "That's all you. That's what you do to me." She searches his eyes before continuing, "Josh was a friend. We had sex a long time ago. Sex. Not love, Castle. When we broke up that was the end of it. Up until Monday, I hadn't seen him in a year. I thought he needed my help, I was going to meet him at the hospital coffee shop."

He waits, unconsciously rubbing his thumbs over her fingers, encouraging her.

"When he didn't show, I figured he was called into an emergency, he'd contact me later. I found his body Castle. By my car. I found his body. And it was Royce and Montgomery all over again." A tear runs down her face.

He lets go of her hands to slide his arms around her, lifting her from the mattress to cradle her.

"What if it's you next time?" she whispers in his ear.


	4. Chapter 4

He buries his face in the crook of her neck.

_Oh Kate._

"Don't be angry with me, Castle. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I made you doubt me. Doubt us. Help me, okay? I want you to. I need you to."

"'kay," is all he can manage as he squeezes his eyes shut, squeezes her body too hard. He loves her too much sometimes. It's possible to love her too much.

She can barely breath, but she lets him, she owes him this much.

And when he finally relaxes, she finds his lips, working them both into a frenzy of want. She hooks her fingers in his waistband, tries to get to his belt. He helps the process along, not leaving her embrace.

Her sharp intake of breath as he slides a hand over her flat stomach and down to the edge of her panties, tells him she wants the physical act, but her words tell him she wants their connection.

"Make love to me, Rick."

So he goes slow and holds her close, face to face, until he really forgives her, until she really believes it.

* * *

She always wakes up before him, but this time she nestles into his embrace before rising up to kiss his jaw.

A slow smile spreads across his face before he opens his eyes.

_Kate._

"I'm going to take a shower, get up, we've got a murderer to catch, partner."

"Hmm, too early, come back to bed." An arm coming around her to hold her in place, nuzzling her hair.

"I'll let you take a shower with me if you get up right now."

"You say that to all your partners?"

She inches into his space,"no, lover, I only say it to you, come on." It doesn't take any more convincing for him to stumble into the bathroom behind her.

* * *

Ryan and Esposito listen as she tells her story. Wet hair and drowning in one of his sweatshirts make her seem smaller, frail somehow. Her story is harrowing.

After discovering Josh's body, she'd tried to hold his hand, discovering a thumb drive in his palm just as she'd heard a door close. Hoping to catch a glimpse of their suspect she'd given chase, losing the suspect several blocks away in an alley. A man, early 30s, brown hair, chiseled jaw, athletic, a little over six feet.

She'd made her way back to the hospital but was blindsided by a pistol placed to her temple as soon as she'd entered the garage. The man she chased was obviously not concerned about her seeing his face, took her gun, wallet and cell phone. It didn't bode well for her. He'd demanded to know where 'it' was. She'd played dumb, telling him it was at Josh's apartment, once he took her there, she'd been able to get away. By then, it was clear she was in danger, and clear that the drive she possessed was important. Going back to the hospital seemed too risky, and now the guy knew where she lived. She'd ducked into a library to check the contents of the thumb drive and found Karen's name listed as the author of several medical papers although she didn't fully understand their value. Kate made a rash decision to pursue a conversation with the woman, instead of contacting her partners. She'd had no idea this woman was dating Josh, although this became apparent from pictures around the woman's apartment. The doctor had been shot in the same manner as Josh. It had been her misfortune to discover the second doctor's body as well, only now, it looked bad for her. Getting into the doctors' offices in the hospital seemed imperative to figuring out what this was about, hopefully get ahead of the trail of bodies. After finding the addresses of others mentioned in the documents, she'd gone to question one who lived nearby. She'd hope to have more time to figure things out when she was arrested.

"We'll go over things, see what we can come up with. We got your back, Beckett." Espo's talking to Kate but looking at Castle.

* * *

The moment they're gone he wraps her up tightly in his arms.

"Stupid woman," he whispers, kissing her temple. She buries her head in his shoulder and lets herself be loved.

He encourages her to nap while he looks up the name of the drug in the research she described.

"Don't wanna," she whines sweetly into his neck.

"Come on, I'll lie down with you," he leads her by the hand through his office, grabbing his laptop on the way to her side of the bed. The soft sheets beckon her and she curls up as soon as he pulls back the comforter. He tucks her in before coming around to his side, where she quickly claims a spot at his hip, pushing her pillow up against him.

"Pretty girl," he murmurs, stroking a hand through her hair and down her shoulder before opening his laptop to save her. And himself.

* * *

When she wakes, he's gone.

The soft lilt of his voice carries to her and she smiles into her pillow before she stumbles out to find him. _Lucky._

Forehead touching him first, she fumbles into his solid mass standing at the counter in his kitchen.

"Hey kitten," Castle rings an arm around her neck pulling her to him.

"You ruined it," she says sleepily, pushing off him to sit on the stool.

"Nah, can't ruin us," he says holding the back of her head in place to kiss her. Reassurance, they're still them. The tenderness of Richard Castle that has always reached for her, stretches out again. "Let me get you something to eat."

"Hmm," she sighs,"coffee."

"Coming right up. Ryan called," he works around the kitchen," he says someone broke into Dr. Hayward's apartment, he's another one of the researchers on that drug study. Only he was in the Hamptons at the time. He says the place is a wreck, papers everywhere. No computer."

"Castle," she reaches to take the mug he offers her, "whoever he is, he's looking for something related to that study."

"I can't imagine why. Looks to me like by all accounts it was a terrific failure, none of the trials indicate anything positive that I can make out in the medical jargon."

"Maybe we need to ask Lanie to look it over."

* * *

"I don't see anything here worth killing over," the petite ME leans over the papers, "looks like the drug trials were a failure. Not only did it not show a statistically significant outcome, looks like there was an unreasonably high mortality rate during the study."

"Are you saying this drug kills people?"

"Not exactly, it's not a cause and effect kind of thing, just that an unusually high number of people died during the course of the study. Certainly not something you want to bring to the FDA when you are trying to get approval for a drug that doesn't work." The feisty ME slaps the file shut, "if I were you, I'd start looking at how this study was conducted."

* * *

"Hey Kate," they both turn to face the baby-faced white coat coming down the hospital hall. The detective obviously knows him.

"Brian, good to see you," she doesn't introduce him to Castle.

"You heard about Josh?"

She nods.

"He's not the only one, they got Karen, too, although I heard they arrested someone."

She takes a deep breath before continuing, feels Castle at her back.

"Brian, we're hoping you can help us with something," she pulls the file open as she speaks, "Josh and Karen were reviewing a research study. Do you know anything about where they found the participants?"

A look crosses his face and he hesitates before he responds, "No, I wasn't involved in that study." He fumbles for a moment before reaching for his pager, "I've got to go." He's gone before they can get another word out of him.

* * *

Kate leans her cheek against his back as he fumbles to unlock his front door, a long sigh escaping her.

"So glad to have you," she whispers against him.

"Come on, let's see what the boys have come up with," pulling her around him to plant a quick kiss on her before pushing her through the door.

"Matched your service weapon to the murder of the girlfriend," Ryan is saying even as she plants her face in her hands.

"Ryan, you're supposed to be proving _someone else_ is the killer." He's genuinely afraid for her, reaches out to stroke the back of her head from across the counter where the speakerphone lays.

"No, this is good news, actually, it takes away the link between the two crimes, gives us a legitimate reason to run this investigation. Anyhow, that isn't all we found."

Beckett perks up, "what?"

"Seems like you were caught on tape chasing our suspect, bank down the street has a great angle on it. Confirms your story."

"Awesome," Castle's comments earn him the evil eye.

"Also, we reviewed the financials on Josh and Karen, didn't find much except for a whole lot of monthly auto-drafts from both their bank accounts."

"Wait, auto-drafts from both accounts?" Castle can tell she's on to something.

"Yeah, probably because of the time they were both spending outside of the country. Amazon river basin mostly."

"If they were out of the country, how were they participating in this drug study?"

He's picking up on where she's going, "Unless they were conducting the study on foreign soil."

She's nodding, "Where the mortality rate wouldn't get the attention it would get here."

He finishes their thought, "they were planning on obscuring the data. That's why they need the original research. That's why they need to get rid of the doctor's involved."

She's smiling at him.

"Hey Ryan, got to go. We'll start fresh in the morning," Kate can hear him rushing to end the conversation, even as he's working his way around the counter.

He yanks her by the waist to him, "Solving crime with you is such a turn on." He emphasizes his words with a little hike of the arm encircling her, making her gasp.

"Easy there, I'm already suspected of killing my last boyfriend."

Castle rolls his eyes to the ceiling considering her statement and then he looks back at her, hikes her up enough to tilt her body into his, "I can think of worse ways to go," and then he kisses her.

* * *

Kate has to physically untangle his limbs from her in order to get out of bed. He wakes enough on her final shove to snatch her pillow and substitute it for her in his embrace.

She turns back long enough to appreciate what she has, he's adorable. He's hers.

By the time she hears his shower running she's dressed and caffeinated and headed for the paper outside his front door.

The click of her own Glock, pointed at her forehead as she leans down to pick up the newspaper gives her pause. She swallows and looks up into the eyes of the man she's already chased away from a murder scene, the man who shot two people in cold blood, the man at the center of this.


	5. Chapter 5

"Kate?"

He falls back onto the couch, head in hand when he realizes she's not in the apartment. _Shit._

* * *

He hasn't moved the gun off her forehead, but he has moved her to the stairwell. He pushes her up against the wall, leaning his whole body into the strangle hold he has with his left hand and pressing the cold metal of her service weapon into her skin.

"Where is it?" she can smell coffee and sweat on the man. Uses her detective eye to notice the details. Brown eyes. 6' 3."

She doesn't answer.

The distinct sound of the safety switch being flipped fills the air.

Her breath comes quickly as he squeezes at her neck.

"I'm only going to ask this one more time and then I'm going to leave a little present on the doorstep for that boyfriend of yours."

She gasps, unable to draw a breath as he presses his fingers into her throat. On impulse her hands grip his wrist.

"WHERE?" He shakes her.

"In . . .side," she manages.

He backs off enough for her to take a breath, choking violently.

"Inside the apartment?"

A cough tears through her as her body fights for air.

"No . . . my . . .apartment."

But he sees it for what it is, an attempt to buy time. The set of his jaw and the blink of his narrowing eyes tell her, he's not buying her story. He pulls her still recovering body into his, wraps an arm around her neck, his elbow holding her, while the gun is pressed to her temple.

She has a move for this, she knows what to do, a quick step on his instep and a fast elbow and she'll have him. But before she can play her hand he's run her head-first into the wall and she's seeing stars.

* * *

He's on the phone trying to relay a second round of disappearing Kate to a furious Esposito when he hears someone at the door.

_Kate._

"Never mind Espo, I think she's at the door, probably just ran out for coffee or something." He's moving toward the door when the words come out in a rush, "don't tell her I called you."

He opens the door without forethought, "Kate, I . . ."

_Back up._

This man, dark clothes, brown eyes, brown hair, menacing look shoves a semi-conscious Kate at him and points a gun in his face.

(In the spirit of the show I would like to insert an interminably long commercial break here. Please stop reading for the next 4 minutes).

* * *

(That wasn't 4 minutes.)

"Okay, okay," Castle tries to reason, tries to shield Kate. She isn't making any noise, and her legs aren't really under her as she sags against him, "what do you want?"

There's a moment when Castle considers the very real possibility they are both about to wind up victims of this killer. The fact that he's letting him see his face is setting off all kinds of alarms.

"I want those files." Castle can feel his breath coming faster. "I don't care where they are, you get them and you bring them to me or I'll will shoot this woman. She will suffer, I promise you. Now, get them."

Fear holds him to the spot. He can't leave her.

"NOW!"

"Okay, okay, I'll get the drive. It's not here, it's . . .I know where it is, just . . . let me help her first, okay?"

The crack of the gun starts both of them. He covers Kate's head with his body.

"THAT was a warning, the next one goes in the cop. GET UP."

He lays Kate carefully on the floor and rises with his hands in the air, flinching.

_Can't leave her with him._

It's his last thought before his own door is slammed in his face.

* * *

Esposito and Ryan meet him in the garage behind his building. On a normal day, the tactical team emerging from the back of a bread truck would be impressive, but right now he can barely think straight.

"When I said bring the thumb drive I didn't think you'd bring the SWAT team."

"It's Beckett, and this guy has already left a trail."

Esposito's words send a new surge of adrenalin through him. The image of her lying on the floor of his apartment haunts him. _Stand with me. Stand with me. Stand with me._

Ryan's words break the spell, "Castle, the team wants to take up positions."

Are they planning on storming his apartment? Catch this guy unaware? _Beckett._

"They want you to try and talk him out. You know, get him to meet you out where we can take him. Tell him you have the drive but you don't want to end up like the others, make him meet you in the lobby."

"And what if he won't do it? What if he . . ." he swallows hard.

"Castle, man," Esposito puts a hand on his shoulder, "can you do this?"

A long moment of silence is followed by his whispered words, "it's Kate." He turns pleading eyes on both detectives.

"Yeah, we know."

A/N: Some people do not write for reviews, I respect that, however, I am not one of those people.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Just clarifying this is not a character death story. I will never write a character death story. I really wish no one else had ever written one either.

A/N 2: Thank you for reviewing, I was feeling rather melancholy yesterday, and you made my day.

* * *

The third time Rick calls her cell phone, _he_ picks up.

"Do you have it?" The demanding voice leaves no room for emotion.

"Yes." Castle swallows.

"What's the hold up? Bring it here."

"So you can kill us both?" He struggles to keep the bravado in his voice, "No, we'll do this exchange out in public, thank you. I'm downstairs in the lobby."

"No, we'll do this my way or I take care of your girl here and then wait on the pretty family in all these pictures."

Castle's eyes search out Esposito's, listening through the headset as the technician records this exchange.

Esposito give a little nod.

"You do that and I take this thing straight to the media. It won't matter what you do, everyone will know what's on the drive."

"Don't fuck with me man!" There's the muffled sound of movement and then heavy breathing, "You want to renegotiate? I've got my fingers around her neck; you've got maybe one minute before I squeeze the life out of her." Castle can hear an unearthly keening, followed by a wheeze; he can only assume this man is killing Kate.

"Okay!" He shouts into the phone, "okay, okay, I'm coming upstairs with what you want. Don't hurt her."

His eyes meet Esposito's again. _ Shit._

* * *

The door is not fully closed, and he's never felt this level of anxiety crossing his own threshold. He stands to the side of the door and pushes on it enough to see what's happening inside.

The room is empty.

Compelled, he steps into his living room, the door swinging closed behind him.

"Kate?"

"In here," he hears a male voice call from his office.

* * *

The man is sitting behind the writer's desk, his gun pointed down awkwardly. Beckett is nowhere to be seen.

"Did you bring it?"

"Where is she?"

"Mr. Castle, I just had an epiphany. All this," the dark haired man waves the gun around indicating Castle's loft, "should have been a clue. You have a lot to lose. Might be smart for you to give me what I want and make this whole thing go away."

"Was your epiphany that killing me, or Detective Beckett, might lead to more publicity than you had hoped?"

A smirk crossed the gunman's face. Unsettling.

"Where is the drive?"

"Where is Kate?" He stands his ground.

"You know I could just shoot you and take it from you."

The two men lock eyes before the sinister one moves his arm and it's obvious he's pointing the gun at something other than the writer. The invitation to satisfy his curiosity comes in the form of a raised eyebrow.

Castle crosses the room with caution, his hand seeking the drive in his pocket. He's just tall enough to see the patch of brown hair seated on the floor at the feet of the gunman.

_Kate._

* * *

"Put it on the desk and have a seat."

She's got her back to him, but she twists her head up enough for him to catch her eye. The dull silver hue of a patch of tape covers her mouth. He can see a trickle of blood from a wound on her forehead.

He swallows hard, placing the small white drive on the desktop and slowly sitting back into a chair across the desk from the gunman.

"Now, it seems to me there is only one way out of this for me, and the good news is that I can keep our agreement. I won't kill her."

It doesn't relieve him.

The two men watch each other warily as the drive disappears into the man's pocket. His shoulders relax, he's gotten what he wanted. He's in control and the eerie calm in his voice confirms it.

"You don't believe me? No, in fact I need Detective Beckett alive."

The intention of the gun shifts from Kate to Rick.

"You, however, I don't need." The man stands to move around the desk, stalking closer to the author.

He towers over Castle, menacing.

He swallows, tries to find his words.

"If you kill me, she won't rest until she finds you. I know her. She won't let you get away with this, she will hunt you down."

The truth of his own words turns his stomach. He's fairly certain killing him would kill her too. Suicide by cop.

"Not if I kill you and leave her alive to take the blame. Seems to me like she's left a trail of bodies in her wake. You know what I think? I think the cops will just assume you are another boyfriend she killed in a jealous rampage. Unloved girl with a gun, seeks revenge on anyone who ever crossed her. You think anyone's going to believe her one-armed-man story? No. I still have a chance."

Castle flinches, preparing for the bullet.

As the gunman aims his weapon to finish the story, the sound of a shot rings in Kate's ears.

* * *

The sound should cause her to flinch. Instead, she closes her eyes in what feels like slow motion. _No._

The sound of a heavy object falling to the floor vibrates beneath her.

_It's over._

Her body can't support itself. It doesn't matter anymore. _Doesn't matter._

Kate Beckett's body slides incrementally, painfully, toward the floor, until her cheek touches the cool wood. Her cuffed arms pulling at her shoulders as she curls inward, away from the world.

* * *

He assesses the man on the floor in front of him. There isn't as much blood as he would have thought. It's disturbing to see his eyes open, face pressed into the carpet.

And then Castle glances out the window in his office. Sees the tiny bullet hole in focus and the police sniper on the roof across the way. Is it wrong to wave?

He kicks the gun away from the dead man's outstretched hand, thinks better of it, and grabs a tissue off the desk to pick it up, laying it on a chair. Kate's gun.

"Kate?"

* * *

He steps around the desk to find her, curled on her side, eyes closed, face tight. Castle kneels beside her, unsure where to touch her first.

A hand brushes her hair from her face and she opens her eyes in fear. But it's not what she expects. It's not the brown eyes of the intimidating man she's been chasing for two days, the man who killed Josh, the man who killed . . .

Castle.

Her eyes widen in relief as he works the edge of the tape off her mouth, peeling it back quickly. _Son of a b –_

"Ow," she squeaks, lifting her head.

He's rolling her to see her hands, "I think these are mine," he says of the handcuffs. Keels up to search the desk drawer above her and comes back with a key.

"What happened?" she asks as he releases her wrists.

"Police sniper on the roof across the way. Can you sit up?" He rubs her shoulder, trying to restore circulation.

He leans her back up against the desk, checks the cut on her forehead, smoothing a thumb over the skin around it, even as they hear Ryan and Esposito at the door.

"NYPD!"

"Clear," Castle yells, looking at her, "in here."

He cups her face and she smiles at him, "I'm okay."

"Yeah? I'm okay too," then he turns to Ryan, "she needs someone to examine her head."

"Sure do," she says closing her eyes as her mind and body catch-up to each other, "figure out why I still let you follow me around."

Ryan looks down at both of them, the writer's feelings for the detective obvious in the way he leans into her, hands on the sides of her neck. The detective has her hands on the writer's forearms, slowly rubbing up and down. Ryan wonders if they'll ever see themselves.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Again, thanks so much for your reviews, I kind of thrive on them. I totally appreciate the ones that were supportive AND gave good feedback. I'm sorry to say this is the last chapter, but happy to say it's being replaced by Marlowe's genius in the new episode. Is it only me, or does it seem like the more episodes I get the more I want (isn't that the true definition of addiction?) Happy Castle Monday/Tuesday!

* * *

"Your gunman's been identified, Mark Helman, works for the Martel Agency, they market new drugs for pharmaceutical companies," Gates is explaining, "some bad decisions have it on the brink of bankruptcy, looks like they stood to lose the business if this drug account didn't pay out."

"But if the drug looked like it was going to market, they'd still make their money?" Beckett's still got questions.

"Looks that way."

"So all they needed was to keep the mortality rate quiet for a few months, take the money for advertising it, wait for the FDA to stop it from going to market, and then it wouldn't matter, they'd already have their money," Castle looks at her, "and when Josh wouldn't give it up, it started the dominoes. You were both in the wrong place at the wrong time."

She gives him a weak smile, "yeah, but how did Helman know about the research? Why didn't he find out when the rest of the world did?"

"Inside info, one of those doctors shared it with him."

"Brian," she says weakly, when the room turns to look at her, she fills in the gaps, "Josh's friend Brian, remember how uncomfortable he was when we questioned him about participants?"

"We'll pick him up," Esposito says behind her, his partner follows him out the door.

* * *

"Hell of a day?" He smiles at her, handing her a glass of wine. The fireplace crackles in front of them, and she follows him with her eyes before she answers.

"Yeah."

He clinks her glass with his as he sits beside her on the couch, she turns enough to press her toes under his thigh. Castle searches her face, "you okay?"

"Just thinking," and then she sips to hide her expression.

He wraps an arm around her drawn-up knees, leans on her, "tell me."

They both know the smile she gives him is reserved for him alone.

"You know when I heard that shot, I thought Helman shot you." She watches him for his reaction.

He stiffens in surprise.

"Well then you need to know two things. First, a murder mystery writer murdered? Come on, that's way too meta. Not original at all." He takes her glass from her hand and sets it on the coffee table. "No one would buy that story." He sits back into the cushions and pulls her legs over his so he can wrap his arms around her waist as she wraps hers around his neck. "And second, you _know_ you are the only one allowed to shoot me."

She taps her forehead into his.

"Never gonna happen," she whispers, and just when he softens to her, she adds, "too much paperwork."

He hums as he draws her mouth into his, gently working her jaw, tasting wine and her own tenderness toward him. He loves it when she strokes a hand on his cheek, her thumb sweeping unconscientiously. Her other hand has found its way into his hair, he can't open his eyes when she scratches at his scalp, it's like she's hypnotized him. And then, suddenly, she's pulling back.

"There's something else."

Okay, he does want her to share with him. So why does it set him on edge when she volunteers? Maybe because so much rides on it now. It must show in his face because he can see in her face she's raised her guard.

"I think I'd better go home for the night." She moves to stand up, to walk away.

"Why?" He's so confused, what did he miss?

She's already working on her shoes, leaning against the front door.

"Kate, why?" Castle touches her elbow and is shocked to find her eyes too shiny.

"Josh's funeral is tomorrow," she whispers, she turns, to hide her face he thinks, stretching her arm to reach her coat from the closet.

"And you need to go, honor the person that he was," he stops her reach with a hand on her arm, "I get that Kate." And then he takes her shoulders and turns her toward him, "But . . ."

"But what?" Is she expecting a fight with him? She sounds defensive.

"Don't go alone, let me go with you."

For a moment she stares at him, "You'd do that?"

He nods, "for you? Of course."

He can't read her, but her face is tight with emotion.

And then suddenly, she flies to him, wrapping her arms around his neck, throwing her face over his shoulder as she pulls him to her.

"Whoa, hey," he whispers in her ear.

She's almost knocked him off his feet and he can feel the warm liquid of her silent tears pressing into his neck. All he can do is hold her, rub her small back with his large hands.

"Did you think I wouldn't want you to go?" He feels her nod at that. "Kate, we've talked about this before."

She pulls back to look at him curiously, her arms still around his neck.

"I'm a smartass not a jackass."

It's so unexpected she can't help but laugh and it's good for them both.

She leans in and kisses him slow and sweet.

"Stay tonight?" He asks when they pull back. She nods.

"Good 'cause I'm supposed to wake you up every hour, make sure your head injury isn't serious."

"Wake me up every hour? However will you rouse me, Mr. Castle?" She raises an eyebrow at him.

He shakes his head and grabs her hand, "Are you seriously questioning my ability to arouse you Detective Beckett?"


End file.
